Things I’ve been catching heat for lately and why it’s ridiculous.

Hello, readers. As some of you may be aware, I've recently deactivated one of my social networking accounts because of some strange bullshit. You see, I fully and proudly embrace hugboxing in my own space, and people who have known me long enough to know that have recently been popping up randomly (sometimes without invitation) and spewing negativity everywhere. To be entirely clear, when I tag someone (on any site), I'm generally looking for support, and those unable to provide said support need not respond. Private messages asking me not to tag them? Fine. Publicly attempting to shame me for... being myself? Lol no. So here are some things I've been accused of and my rebuttals:

The Terrible, Horrible Thing: Racism.

Allegation: “You’re racist because you don’t want to date someone who doesn’t speak English!”

Why it’s ridiculous: I’m not anyone’s goddamn babysitter. We’re all adults here, and while Your Mileage May Vary, I prefer not to spend my time muddling around with word usage. Either you understand me the first time, or you don’t. I don’t have the patience to constantly re-word or re-assert myself, especially with people who use ESL as an excuse to not understand my boundaries. It comes down to personal preference, and I personally prefer not to be contacted by people who don’t speak my language well.

The Terrible, Horrible Thing: Hidden Intentions.

Allegation: “You’re deceptive because you’re using a dating site to get food!”

Why it’s ridiculous: This really isn’t any worse than men who go on dating sites (not hookup sites; yes, there’s a difference) for sex. Also, unlike several guys I’ve talked to who don’t mention anything about sex anywhere in their profiles but then BAM! hit me with “We’ll bang, okay?” in the messages, I actually do state that I want people to buy me food in my profile. Twice. It isn’t my fault if people don’t read my profile before messaging me.

The strange thing about this one is that it comes from people who are aware of my situation. Since no-one seems to really pay any attention and I was just babbling into a void on the social networking site, let’s recap:

- Hitchhiked from San Jose to Portland (therefore no car)

- No money (therefore no public transport)

- Reliant on one person’s food stamps to feed two people, as well as food banks where we can’t always eat the food provided due to dietary restrictions.

- Cardholder containing ID and Social Security card lost (therefore no job)

There are other, semi-relevant factors, but in the interests of keeping this post somewhat concise, I’ll leave them out for now. Let me reiterate that the people judging me for using a dating site for free food are aware of my situation. So I devised a little experiment:

I would like each of those people, judging me from the comfort of their own homes with plenty of access to food, to leave home with only what they can carry on their back, no money, and hitchhike to a state where they have no friends, no-one to crash with. Their main sources of food will be food banks, dumpster diving, and the kindness of strangers. They will sleep in parks, parking lots, and the like. They will spend their days at libraries, on the hunt for food, or panhandling (we call it spanging, by the way). Do all this, then come back and tell me how eeeeeeevil maintaining a dating site profile with the openly-stated intention of acquiring food is. I’ll bet a grand total of zero of them would be able to leave their cushy lives behind. In fact, most people I’ve talked to who have demanding jobs they feel trapped by, they have admitted that they find Loki and me brave because they couldn’t do what we do. They’re trapped by corpgov wage slave obligations and the like.

The Terrible, Horrible Thing: Values Dissonance.

Allegation: “You shouldn’t bring a chaperone to a date in a public place!”

Why it’s ridiculous: Sexual assault happens in public, too. As a woman meeting men from the internet, my primary responsibility is to ensure my own safety. If I want to do that by bringing backup, that is my right.

The Terrible, Horrible Thing: Using our own names. (????!)

Allegation: “You shouldn’t go by Loki and Sigyn because you’re disrespecting pagans who worship the actual gods!”

Why it’s ridiculous:

 Just because we can't get jobs doesn't mean I can't use our (outdated) résumés to make a point,

Really, people?

The main complaint about this one seemed to be that I’m not properly representing fidelity, but… do you really think I’d do something like this without Loki signing off on it? He’s my fucking chaperone, for the love of all that ever was! How WILLFULLY BLIND do you have to be, to be THAT JUDGMENTAL?! Not to mention that that person was a complete stranger to me (haven’t figured out how to keep friends of friends from commenting on posts in which friends are tagged).

Now here’s something I have an objection to: Going into someone else’s house and crapping on their floor. If you’ve got a negative opinion on a stranger’s post, and you’re aware that they get notifications and that you may be violating their safe space by voicing it, keep it to your GD self. Please.