Friday, November 26, 2021

November 26, 2021 | convo with Bex

 SIGYN, 12:08 p.m.

Short answer is I panicked. I felt both isolated and trapped (therapist flaked on me, it was a holiday so no one else at the agency was available) and wanted to take myself away from the pain and anxiety. It happens every so often, used to be every couple of weeks but now it's been about a year. I'm still alive, which I guess is okay

I'm sorry. I know I said I wouldn't, or something like that. I just flipped out.

 

BEX

*hugs extra tight* hun...you had me worried sick! I'm just glad you're ok! I'm sorry I wasn't around, but please don't do that again or anything that will hurt you. I love you! ❤❤❤

 

SIGYN

I'm so sorry, again. It wasn't because you specifically weren't there; you're important to me & our stories are the highlight of our day, but what happened was, Loki said that fucked up shit I told you about. Then I scheduled an emergency appointment with my therapist. She flaked. I took some sleeping pills and crashed. The next day I was supposed to be at my dad's for Thanksgiving but Loki didn't want to take me because I was "bitchy" (hung over from sleeping pills & anxious to get to my dad's). My dad wasn't picking up the phone. I flipped out and cut myself. Loki basically said I was just misbehaving because I didn't get my way

 

BEX

What a horrible person he is! Honestly hun, you got to get away from him.

 

SIGYN

My sister says I've got to find a caretaker for Lucius and me so we can kick him out

(2:21 p.m.) I don't know where to find one though and I'm freaking out

I don't like thinking about sex outside of, like, our discussions and

Anyway he comes into my room and runs his hands over my body (NO) and when I say no he asks why and then he mentions things that are sex adjacent and I panic and then he uses THAT as an excuse to say cuddling is a waste of time and we shouldn't be together

(2:45 p.m.) I don't care if we're together but I want my baby with me and I don't know where to find a caretaker

Sorry. I'm just freaking out. Anyway, I finally got a lock on my door

When you have a moment though, it's your turn on everything I'm pretty sure

(4:42 p.m.)


Rebecca missed your video chat. – 4:42 p.m.

 

SIGYN, 5:51 p.m.

I had a candied apple and I ate the candy part and gave him the apple part. He likes it

(6:57 p.m.) other than me having an episode, I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving ❤️ I was able to make it to my dad's, not able to help with preparation but we did get to eat, and we found out Lucius likes stuffing. I know you've probably got some eventful things going on, so just wanted to let you know I'm going to try to get round to editing and uploading our fic :D I'll send you things that make me think of you as per usual but don't be alarmed about not responding or anything like that, esp if you're having fun with the family 💖 Thank you for being there for me all these years & I love you very much! Cheers!

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