As I gain a bit of recognition, it comes time for me to decide what sort of example I want to make of myself. Earlier today, I was confronted by an unhappy person: bitter, washed out, never got to accomplish what they wanted to and so felt the need to steer my husband away from the same goal-- and, not coincidentally, from me. That person is my father-in-law, and while I do enjoy a great many jokes at his expense, it saddens me that he would try to take away his son's happiness by concern trolling.
My father-in-law has never approved of me. He sees my neurodivergences as a show I put on to manipulate my husband into staying close to me and taking care of me rather than loving his own life. Not much could be further from the reality, which is that Loki and I share very similar goals and that my neurodivergences are simply part of who I am as an individual. Is being with me a challenge? Yes. Is it worth it? Ask Loki. He has made it clear that he plans to stay with me and that he finds me more helpful than harmful.
In the past, I've put a lot of effort into shaming people who triggered various unpleasant associations. I currently feel, though I may change my mind again, that that is a bit too time-consuming for my liking and wastes energy I could be using to do something more productive. I see now that, while my goals and efforts are clear to me, what the callous outside world cares most about is results.
And I fully intend to get them.
I haven't entirely decided what sort of person I want to come off as, but it is my hope that you, my dear readers, will come to see me as I see myself on good days. Loki sees potential in me and I feel it burning now, propelling me towards something.... Good or evil, I cannot say, but I will try to take you with me on the ride so you can see for yourselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment